The Truth

In our discussions on deception, what sticks out the most to me is the notion of trust. I think that trust is something that frequently impacts the lives of all of us. Too much of it leads to vulnerability and pain, and not enough leads to loneliness and isolation. In relationships, we tend to ignore signs of lying because we trust our own ability to decide who to love and who to trust, also known as the truth bias. However, we also have a stronger ability to detect lies in those who we are close to because we can recognize better when their behavior strays from the norm.

Perhaps the most interesting part of trust is that we trust that those close to us will use their best judgment in deciding when to lie to us. It’s clear that most people will lie at some point or another. In class we learned that only 20% of the population believes that lying is never acceptable. What constitutes an acceptable lie? I would guess that each of us have slightly different beliefs about what an acceptable lie looks like, so why do we trust those close to lie only in acceptable circumstances? I think that this pattern illustrates the incredible human capacity for denial.

Another interesting part of deception is the vast array of situations that fit into the category. Deception includes lying about everything from forgetting to do the dishes to lying in a court of law. I had tended to think of lying as more confined to interpersonal relationships, but the impact of lies on a greater scale is perhaps much larger. My high school, Lower Merion, is part of a national initiative called the 1-to-1 program. Each student receives a laptop to use for the school year, and return during the summers. After a student was caught using drugs in his home through the camera on the laptop, my school became national news for “spying on students.”

The real story, however, is that the student had reported his laptop missing in an attempt to steal it. As is written in the contract we all signed to receive the laptops, when a computer is reported stolen, the camera can be activated in an attempt to find its location. He went on to due my school district, and he lost, but to this day when I tell people I went to Lower Merion they either ask me if that’s the school that spies on their students or if I have met Kobe Bryant. (Kobe did go to my high school, and yes I have met him.)

The impact of the students lie cost my district its reputation, and cost him his reputation as well. However, despite the fact that it was proven that the district was not spying on the students, that myth has never gone away. Students still put duct take over their cameras and make jokes about the administration. Lies are certainly problematic when they are caught, but their lasting impression can outlive and overshadow the truth.