Behind Hyperpersonal Communication

We've talked about this in class and we've all experienced it in some way in our lives-our parents, grandparents, basically anyone not in our generation believes that our generation is incapable of having a real face-to-face conversation. My grandpa once said to me that I send a million smiley faces over a text but am never in person with anyone to show them a real smile. Obviously, the whole thing is a bit of an exaggeration. We all know how to talk to someone in real life-we just conveniently use our phones when a person isn't close. Before I was in this class, when any adult would say anything along those lines, I would blow them off and tell them they're crazy. However, in class during our lecture on hyperpersonal communication, learning that most people have more positive feelings about online communication rather than face to face really baffled me. That really does make our generation look like we hide behind technology, but I think that fact is too general.

I have heard so many stories about couples out of high school who go to different schools, try to make long distance work, and end up breaking up because "it just wasn't working out." Obviously, this is a huge example of the need for face to face communication. Online communication is great for a while, but let's face it: the lack of cues would cause distance in any relationship, friendly or romantic. I think that we all crave those face to face cues with people we want to talk to and no amount of online communication can completely replace that. Though that's what the fact stated in class, I believe that it's more of an umbrella. From the experiences I've had myself or what I've heard from friends, online communication is viewed more positively only a person is new to you. Back in the day before Facebook and Tinder, the only way to build a relationship with someone was in person. Now, so many relationships start from finding each other on social media and getting to know each other before a face to face "date" is set up. That's where I think the positivity of the online communication stops. After you've been talking to someone through technology for a while and you decide they're alright, text messages aren't enough. Kids who find someone from another high school on Facebook plan to meet up at a football game and people who match on Tinder eventually go out on dates. As stated in class, humans have a natural need to be shown affection and to give affection, and those needs just can't be satisfied via online communication.

Going more into depth about where this extreme positive feeling on online communication comes from, I believe it gives people a chance to come out of their shell at their own pace. Being thrown into a blind date without any previous knowledge of the person sounds scary to most of us nowadays. Online communication gives us all the opportunity to get ourselves out there without feeling too self conscious or pushy. That doesn't mean that the people who use these websites will never talk to someone in person-it's just a push in the right direction. I have a friend who, for whatever reason, is terribly scared of striking up a conversation with a guy in person. However, she feels extremely comfortable talking to her matches on Tinder. I asked her why it was so much easier to do that when it wasn't face to face, and she said there's less pressure-due to the buffer we discussed in class. I feel like we have all experienced this to some degree. It can be scary to talk to someone face to face if you've never talked to them before-you don't know them well, aren't sure what to say, how to say it, what their sense of humor is, etc. However, it's pretty easy to find out a person's ticks via online communication. Of course the cues aren't as clear as face to face ones, but it sure makes everything a hell of a lot more comfortable when the time to see each other in person does come. Already knowing some things about each other can make that first face to face encounter run so much more smoothly.

In conclusion, I think that our generation has the best of both worlds. We have the ability to get to know someone without all the pressure of first time face to face so that when face to face does happen, the jitters are significantly decreased because you already feel a little closer to this person. By saying people view communicating online more positively than face to face, to me it means that people are thankful for the opportunity to get to know someone online first rather than being thrown into a scary situation. Rather than picking one type of communication over the other, I think they go hand in hand.